


Dark and Cold

by Taruyison



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angel Wings, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Canon Compliant, Chloe KNOWS, Don't copy to another site, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Ficlet, Flash Fic, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I am a HORRIBLE PERSON, I mean NO, I'm Going to Hell, Oh God Yes, One True Pairing, One of My Favorites, POV Chloe, Post-Season/Series 04, Random & Short, Satan - Freeform, The Author Regrets Nothing, This Is STUPID, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tragedy, Why Did I Write This?, Wings, now I'm gone cause I'm sob, thank you, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-07 14:11:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19211062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taruyison/pseuds/Taruyison
Summary: Her heart and soul had followed him then and there, through the dark and cold night..





	Dark and Cold

_My  love,  My love_  
_My  fearless  love_  
_I  will  not say  goodbye.._  
_Sea  may rise_  
_Sky  may fall_  
_My  love  will never  die.._

 _Go  on, Go  on_  
_Go  bravely  on_  
_Into  the blackest  night.._

_(Ooh,  Ooh, Ooh...)_

_My  heart,  My heart_  
_My  drowning  heart_  
_Oh  all the  tears I've  cried_  
_Oh  I may  weep forevermore_  
_My  love  will never  die.._

 _My  love,  My love_  
_My  fearless  love_  
_I  will  not say  goodbye.._  
_Sea  may rise_  
_Sky  may fall_  
_My  love  will never  die.._

 

* * *

 

Dreams..

Giant luminous white wings adorned his back.

Or… There wasn’t any certainty that they adorned anything. They were folded, feathers neatly in order and polished to gleam. Maybe not polished, but their glow seemed stronger than before. More luminescent than … _before_..

Before he had left.

Before he had left and flown to … Hell.

Just after he had said … the words.

The words that had changed everything. And yet, everything had always been the same, both before and after. Nothing had changed, just shifted. She had shifted. Something in the depths of her mind. After he’d said the words. Those three fragile little words..

_I love you._

Well, not quite by definition. She had been the one to say them, loud and clear. While breaking down and asking- no, pleading for him to stay here on Earth with her.

 _“I have to go back”_ , he’d told her.

 _“So, for how long?”_ , she’d asked, shock and denial filling her being. He couldn’t actually had meant what she thought he meant.. Right..? He couldn’t have.. “ _Like a couple-.. A couple of weeks or a month, or-..?”_

Bare seconds had pulled their way into hours, eternity of just standing there looking like a fool. Standing there, staring at him, hoping for a response that wouldn’t make her heart drop into her heels. An eternity where she’d had enough room to let her hopes rise, wishing - maybe even praying - that his response would be a good one; a positive one. “ _You were right”_ , he’d said eventually.

Confusion. Not happiness, not grief. Just confusion. And of course, the heavy lump in her throat that had started to form already when she stood in the elevator on her way up to his penthouse that night so very long ago. The heavy lump and the feeling in her gut that something would turn very very wrong..

 _“About the prophecy”_ , he’d said, supposedly explaining himself. “ _We did get it wrong”._ She had held her breath and shaken her head in denial. No, no, they couldn’t be wrong. Not anymore. They’d solved the riddle-

 _“It is about Hell coming to Earth, and we may have stopped it now, but for how long?”_ And like she’d so deeply feared, her heart had dropped. The bad news, not the good ones she’d so desperately hoped for. _“I need to keep them contained. They must have a king”._

 _“No”_ , she’d breathed. A bitter laugh of some kind of self-pity to maybe somehow get him out of those thoughts. Maybe see through his facade. Pull him out of his joke. _“No, no-”_

_“No, see, this- this is-.. This is what I meant, Lucifer, when I-”_

There were no right words to get out. Just a blur of thoughts. A blur of emotions. Dark and cold.

_“You can’t leave me”._

An echo of the thoughts she’d been carrying with her for what felt like days, maybe even weeks.

_“Listen, I’m so sorry that-”_

Voice didn’t carry. Tongue faltered. Eyes leaked. What was the right words to say?

_“..how I acted when I first saw your face, I-..”_

Inhale … exhale. Dark and cold..

_“It was stupid and- and- and--”_

Futile.

 _“Please”_ , she’d pleaded in a last, desperate exhale as salty tears stained her cheeks. Was there even anything left to say? Something other than, _“please don’t go, I-..”_

She what? What did she want? What was there left to say?

Her heart ached. Her heart knew what to say. But did she dare?

Then again, what was there left to say? What other chance would she have, if he had truly made up his mind? He was leaving. She saw that now. He was leaving for his kingdom in Hell, and he would never, ever come back to her. There was nothing more than to let her heart speak the words her brain couldn’t.

_“I love you”._

The slight tilt of his head.

 _“I love you. Please, don’t leave”_ , she’d pleaded. She would have begged on her bare knees.

Seconds had sprinted into hours again. Eternity. Heart dropping and throat clenching. Her own hands had been wanting to reach out. If not for him, then for her own arms, rubbing warmth back into her skin. Dark and cold..

 _“You see”_ , he’d said. “ _We were wrong about something else in the prophecy”._ More bad, bad, bad, and her heart had fallen through the floor, aching as it crumbled. Her throat had constricted to the point of unusable; to the point where she couldn’t breathe properly anymore. She didn’t want to hear. To Hell with the damned prophecy. To Hell with all of it, Divine or not.

But no matter how hard she tried, she hadn’t been able to look away. She hadn’t been able to stop listening. The small, almost trembling steps he had taken toward her, hand outstretched to gently touch her cheek. So warm, so soft, so gentle. The dark and cold within was extinguished by the fire his hand had brought to her cheek. _“My first love was never Eve”_ , he’d said. _“It was you, Chloe”_.

Oh, how it had sounded in her ears, her name rolling from his tongue. Her name that he so seldom had used through all the years they’d known each other. All the times he’d shouted ‘Detective’ as a greeting or when she’d locked him outside the car and taken off with a sly grin.

_“It always has been”._

Always..

Always? For how long? Since when? Why didn’t he tell her? Wh-

But for the briefest of moments, nothing had mattered. He had pressed his lips to hers; kissed her with intent. Puffy eyes, stained cheeks, frozen skin didn’t matter in the closeness of him. Him. The man she loved. Demons didn’t matter, for just a short moment.

 _“Please. Don’t go”_ , she’d whispered against his lips. But again, futile. She had already seen it in his eyes. Those dark brown eyes that could make all the others tell him whatever he wanted to know with a bit of persuasion. Everyone but her.

 _“Goodbye”_ , with finality. She shook her head while he backed away, tears threatening to spill in overflow as he backed away from her again. Hands had wanted to reach out. Stop him. Stall him. Hinder him. Anything-

Then a whoosh as his wings reanimated into existence, more bright and luminous than she’d ever seen. More white than she’d ever seen, because she’d never before seen his wings. She’d understood that he had a pair, but she had never seen them with her own eyes. Not these. Not these pure white angel wings. She’d seen … the other ones. But these.. They had taken away what little she’d had left of her breath.

Her eyelids had fallen close as his fingertips had barely graced her cheek again, and he’d whispered another empty, soulless, _“Goodbye”_.

Her heart and soul had followed him then and there, through the dark and cold night..

**Author's Note:**

> _*sniff*_
> 
>  
> 
> Song lyrics from _My Love Will Never Die_ by Claire Wyndham


End file.
